Dear Fellow MGs,
I write to you today to advise you that all the hardships, lonely nights, tears, grumpiness, selfish moments and IBS do eventually all go away. I never thought that once my missionary was released all the stress of supporting him and everything would go away, which technically they dont because i will be supporting him in his priesthood duties but i can talk to him face to face and i have his strength and support here physically instead of mentally in the back of my mind and in emails and letters. Just a warning, some mild side effects of having a returned missionary include:
- STILL having compulsive need to stalk your inbox
- Feel guilty when you dont write a letter/email every week
- being extra tired
- still having your mind set that he is still out on a mission
- having a tired/sometimes grumpy missionary (boyfriend)
- weird diseases from foreign places
- THE TALK from the missionary's parents before he gets home (not always bad)
- 4 days of anti social movie catching up (hence the extra tired)
- Being overly interogated by family members about wedding plans
- PDA awkwardness
- CONSTANTLY doing something
BACKGROUND: Colin and i met up at Utah State the summer of 2008. I am from idaho and he is from utah. we both went to SOAR (freshman orientation) where we went and stayed at bear lake for a week at the utah state lodge here on the beach. all week he followed me around EVERYWHERE. people literally called us the newly weds because we were NEVER apart. love at first sight..maybe but love that has lasted yes. we dated for a year and never had a fight until it got closer to him leaving. the tension and stress was just getting to us. We faithfully wrote eachother throughout his misison via email and letters but mostly email. his family has come to love me as their own daughter and have told me that if him and i dont work out they are getting rid of him and adopting me. :) ha ha that just shows how close i am to his family. I love his family so much as if they were my own (which they are going to be, no im not engaged, i just know) I know that if we did ever break up it wouldnt just be us that would be devastated his whole family will be. luckily we arent breaking up EVER!
the weeks leading up to his return were treacherous! It was so close but yet so far away. all my friends were getting their boys back and i was so jealous that mine still had two more weeks. my patience really was put to the test. I tried my hardest to pick up more hours at work and just get so busy that the time just flies by...well no matter how busy you are i promise you, the time is ALWAYS on your mind. i even went so far to put a sticky note over the clock on the bottom corner of my computer at work so i didnt stare at it all day everyday. The week he came home i had my dog and sister at my apartment and we were busy taking care of him (still a puppy) and getting him the vet and everything. I went for a walk with Melissa Lee (from the bigger MG group) and she assured me that time drags but that it did eventually come. it never really hit me that he was coming home until we were actually at the airport. his dad called me to give me some fatherly advice. Basically what it came down to was that i should hold off on the boyfriend girlfriend thing until things settle down. He said that he being an experience RM knows how weird it is to be home and to get re adjusted to life and he just didnt want my feelings to be hurt if colin didnt cling on to me like he did before he left. I assured him my head was on straight and there was no need to worry. Honestly it didnt hurt my feelings cuz he was right. thursday night i had to to work until 6 and then i went home packed up and left to his house. that night seemed like an entire day! the hussle and bussle of preparing him to come home started and then by the end it was night time. I woke up early the next morning and helped out around the house and got ready for the day. we left a little early because i had to drop my dog off at the vet to be boarded (colins dad is a vet) so he didnt run away. the drive there still didnt seem like i was driving to the airport but that i was just driving to my dads in West Jordan UT but was taking FOR EV ER! we arrived at the airport and found his plane was to arrive 20 min early then was scheduled THATS when my heart started to race. Fellow MG Lesha Bird was there to take pictures and video which is posted on the group i believe. she was such a huge help and i am eternally grateful for keeping me sane the last week! because he came from the philippines he had to go through customs and that took a good half an hour to 45 min. that was the worst. EVERY time those doors opened we were freaking out thinking oh thats him, but it wasnt...FINALLY he came through...i didnt see him walk through because i was hiding around the corner but i saw his families reaction and i immediately started to cry...he turned and looked at me and gave me *the look* i stood back and let him hug his family first and then he turned to me and gave me the best hug ever! he didnt whisper anything but that was fine cuz i was in a daze anyways. as we were walking out of the airport i ran into a fellow MG (bigger group i believe) ANDREA LAMB who was on her way IN to meet her boy! AH MG HISTORY right ther! it was so awesome to see her and i cant really explain it but its the best! :) we walked out to our cars and i drove seperately because i brought his friend and my sister and then his cousin drove back with me as well. we were speeding home as fast as we could and ran inside to see him already unpacking his bags in the middle of the dining room right as you walk in the door. ha ha he is a dork. He finally left to go get released at 2 (got back home around 130 which is why he was unpacking) he got back gave me a hug and basically it was just ALL HUGS day...he decided that he was going to watch a movie...GI JOE ha ha and he came and sat by ME it was funny cuz he kinda forgot that he could sit by a girl and ya all that stuff. anyways he was leaning against me and later on that night we FINALLY got some alone time and he KISSED ME!!! just a peck, but HE KISSED ME!!! it wasnt until the day after that that he kissed me like he hadnts for two years! it was the best ever! we dont have wedding plans set in stone but i can assure you that we are well on our way. he is wanting to find a job first and get back into school before anything like a wedding will really take place but we are madly in love and havent been happier! he took me on our first date yesterday to Hogle Zoo and it was just so fun to get away and be together! I am so incredibly happy and so much in love that its totally indescirbable! Kepp the patience girls but it really is worth it...no matter the criticism and crap you get from everybody that doesnt know what its like just ignore it stay busy and find a way to be happy without him or else its going to be MISERABLE. keep stroung and keep the faith. my advice is to not whine or cry when you dont get a letter because that means they are focused on what they should be. just know they do love you and the time apart is only strengthening your relationship mine and colins relationship is stronger then it has ever been! IM IN LOVE! You are more then welcome to join me on cloud 9 cuz oh itss so amazing!
My last advice is this:
you cant just automatically assume that as soon as he gets home everything is going to be normal again...technically you have to get used to a new normal, but a MUCH better one at that. The boys really do change but for the better and what was once normal for them before the mission such as video games or whatever isnt their normal now. NOW they are worried about life and decisions to make regarding their future. they didnt have those worries before and now they do.
sorry for length but ah its the best!
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