Rough times are presented to give us strength, as the saying goes what doesn't kill you makes you stronger-Kristin's waiting gave her the chance to become a stronger woman and learn more about herself. Each woman/man goes through this experience of waiting differently. This is the story of how Kristin experienced Zack's two years.
Zack served from June 2009-June 2011 in Eugene Oregon!
Zack and I dated for 2 1/2 years before he left on his mission, he converted me, baptized and confirmed me May 9, 2008. My experience waiting for a missionary has been very up and down from the get go. Right after Zack received his call he broke up with me to date another girl. I was heartbroken (and that's putting it lightly). We didn't speak for over a month. A week before he was set apart he text me and said he wanted to see me, so we met at Subway and he told me he made a huge mistake and he wanted to be with me. We said goodbye with a handshake June 7, 2009 and he entered the MTC June 10, 2009.
During his mission he was very warm/cold with me. Sometimes he would talk about his love for me, other times he'd say "we need to see other people when I get home". etc. I wrote him weekly and sent packages monthly for the first 8 months. He stopped writing me right after his year mark and I still wrote faithfully because I knew he was busy. Around my birthday he began writing again, seeming to be very in love with me. We spoke this past Christmas and then after that he he started getting stand-offish again. In Feb. he told me he didn't think we should talk anymore until he got home. So we didn't. After I wrote him weekly for 21 months, I stopped writing him. I can tell you these past few weeks were almost literally hell for me. I was so nervous and I wasn't sure if he'd even want to talk to me when he got home.
Well, he was supposed to get home Thursday night, I found out via his sisters facebook statuses that his flight was cancelled, he was rescheduled to come back Friday afternoon. So all day at work Friday I was freaking out, not sure what was going to happen. I saw he was home via facebook again around 4:30, when I drove home at 4:45ish (I have to pass the church) I saw their cars ourside of the church, I was freaking out. Around 6:30 when there was still no call so I expected the worst, I went to my friends house after buying a tub of ice cream with the intentions of just having a "poor me" night. We decided to wait to do that until after the baby was asleep...at 8:50, 10 minutes before we put her to bed I get a text from him and this is the conversation we had:
Him: "Guess who?!"
Me: "Who?"
Him: "You have to guess silly."
Me: "Hmmm...I wonder what random stranger would be texting me..."
Him: "I dunno lol must be someone crazy. Kinda like a stalker."
Me: "I have lots of those, you need to give me hints."
Him: "He eats food."
Me: "Okay, so it's not one of my anorexic stalkers...any other hints?"
Him: "He has eyes and hair too."
Me: "M'kay, not a bald or blind one...and not a girl...that's a relief."
Him: "You at your parents house?"
Me: "Nope. At Georgias, you outside my window?"
Him: "No. Just out for a drive thinking about the last 2 years of my life."
Me: "Hm. Maybe I do know who you are..."
Him: "Pretty sure you do. Did you hear my flight got cancelled yesterday?"
Me: "I saw on Facebook. I haven't really been much in the loop."
Him: "I suppose so. Well I made it home today. I promised you I'd see you the day I got home."
Me: "I don't want to intrude on family time."
Him: "family time is done. I left to be alone. I'm headed to see your family."
Me: "So you want to see my family andnot me?"
Him: You're the one not home silly."
Me: "Well I'm not a hermit haha"
Him: "Good. When can I see you?"
Me: "If you ask nicely I might just be in the car right now."
Him: "Pretty please..."
Me: "Where do you want to meet?"
Him: "Where ever...I'm just chillin with your family."
In retrospect I wish I would have told him to meet me somewhere else but oh well. So I drove back from Georgias and I was strangely SUPER calm. Autumn called me asking me if I was freaking out and we both thought it was weird I wasn't. So when I got home I saw him sitting on the front porch with my mom, dad, brother and brothers friend. I got out of my car and he stood up from the chair and we hugged. It was kind of awkward because we were in front of my family and I didn't really want to let go, we whispered our "I missed you's" and then I sat across the table from him because my dad and brother decided they should sit next to him...how fair is that? I was kind of irritated by that whole thing. I felt kind of ignored to be honest. But I guess it was good because my family and Zack weren't exactly on good terms right when he left because of what he did to me. (He had asked my dad for my hand in marriage already by the time he broke up with me).
Anyway, they talked for a long time, about cars, new things in life, etc. Whenever he got the chance and no one else was paying attention he'd give me compliments, "You smell good." "you look good...you're so happy now." etc. He played us songs on the guitar and he's REALLY good. It gave me butterflies. Especially when he played and sang "Must Have Done Something Right" by Relient K. Which was one of our old songs. He looked at me while he was playing and I just smiled at him. After awhile my brother left and my parents left (after a long while actually) and he looked at me and said: "Wanna go for a walk?"
So we took a walk there in the dark just talking about our plans for the future and he apologized for cutting me out these past few months but he thought it would be best for us, he said he was scared that I would hate him for it. We hugged a few times and he'd grab my hand to hold while we walked. He told me how much he cared about me and he stopped me at one point to ask me why I had such low self-esteem and while I thought about it, he grabbed me and started dancing with me. Then we stopped and he said, "I really really care about you, Kristin. I just want you to be happy, whether it's with me or someone else...but I was hoping we could get to know each other again and see if things would work out."
I didn't really answer but we turned around and started walking back to my house, then he wanted to sit down on the sidewalk when we were almost back and he told me he wanted to make sure that I knew he didn't want to get married any time soon, and then he said, "Would you be willing to date other people?" "I've been willing to date other people for the past two years." "And?" "And no one asked me...I'm unapproachable everyone says." And I shut down, but I pretended like I didn't care.
We talked about some other things and then we got back to my house and when I was walking to my door he grabbed my arm and turned me around to him and pulled a piece of paper out of his wallet and handed it to me so I could read it while he said, "You know, I got this Christmas gift and I want to redeem it." It was a piece of paper I sent to him in his Christmas package that said "One free kiss". I looked at thim for a second and then he added, "not tonight, I don't think either of us are ready for that tonight, but just know...I want to redeem it soon."
I walked him to his car and he looked at me and said "what's the biggest change in you?" "I'm stronger, more independent...you?" "...I actually care about other people more then myself." We said goodbye with a hug...and that's how the night he got home went.
Not really some fairy tale day but it was so...normal...it's so werid, having him home again, and it's like he never left, but he's a different person...sort of...he's also the same in a lot of ways. It's hard to explain. Anyhoo. It was a pretty good night aside from the things that I didn't really want to hear but knew I would...It was good to hug him again.
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